Interview with F4mil7
- Shane Laures
- Feb 3, 2021
- 34 min read
Updated: Mar 25, 2021
For anyone who's never heard of F4mil7, could you please introduce everyone in the band?
Laura: I'm Laura, and I am the lead vocalist and lyricist for the band, and I play the Kazobo on occasion
Sunny: I'm Sunshine, I produce most of the electronic elements and I play bass and piano, and guitar.
Ash: My name is Ash Saint John, I am a violinist and guitarist and a little bit of a helper in songwriting in the band F4mil7.
Joey: I'm Joey, and I play drums and help Sunny to co-produce the music.
Are there recordings of any side projects or other musical endeavors by you?
Ash: I am in a number of bands, I am in a country band, the Jake Nelson Band, I play fiddle in that band. I also write my own music as a solo singer-songwriter under the name Ash Saint John. I'm a music teacher, I teach music lessons online. Just an overall musician and hustler.
Could you tell us a little bit about why you decided to change the name, and what the name F4mil7 means to you?
Sunny: After kind of going through some changes and whatnot, we just really asked ourselves what's important in life, you know? I think COVID really made us reflect on what's important and its family. You know, the family you create, the family your born into, those are the important things. The 47 in the name to me and to us, really stands for all the important things in life. The stuff on your death bed that you're going to look back fondly on. That's what 47 means to us, you know? All those important things, festivals, friends, music, adventures, all that stuff. That's what 47 is. It's all inside the family.
Are there any plans to re-release the album Phoenix under the new band name? Possibly a Re-mixed version?
Laura: It's not out of the question. I think if fans had an interest in it and it seemed like something that other people would be into. It's a possibility.
Sunny: I think it'd be fun, you know it'd be fun for sure if the fans want it I guess. It would have to be all the fans asking for a remix of Phoenix.
When did you decide that you wanted to become musicians?
Joey: There wasn't really ever a decision. I was born into a family where music and performance were apart of everyday life. I have been one for as long as I can remember.
Ash: I started music way back in the day, I started violin back in 4th grade, and just along the way just started adding instruments along the way, and joining bands and just got the bug and just been doing it ever since really. Just one of those classic stories.
Sunny: I don't know, I was so young. The vaguest memory I have is I was in my mom's kitchen and she had like a tape player and there was a Michael Jackson song on the radio. Oh God, I was so young, it's such a fuzzy memory but I remember in that moment when she gave me the microphone and I was singing Michael Jackson that I wanted to be a musician.
Laura: So for you, it's been pretty much your whole life.
Sunny: My whole life, I haven't known anything else.
Laura: I think for me, I was was always interested in music. I sang in choir and in church growing up. My parents gave me a guitar for my 16th birthday. So I started playing guitar in high school and singing and doing a little songwriting. I don't know that I ever like decided to become a musician, I think music was just always kind of there. And then once I had an instrument in my hands in high school, I just naturally started writing some songs and expressing myself through music. I've always been writing, so my part in the band has always been more natural for me because I've always been a word person. And, you know, I'm sort of the accidental lead singer of the band anyways. Because I joke that Sonny's like the mothership, the alien mothership. And if you stick around long enough, he will suck you in. I eventually just got sucked into one of your schemes. And I ended up accidentally as the lead singer of this band. I'm happy in that position now and I'm very thankful for it. But yeah, so for me, it was not quite a comedy of errors, but you know, where I ended up now. It was just sort of an interesting path to get there.
Who were your major musical influences growing up?
Joey: The Who, The Doors, Earth Wind and Fire, Tower of Power, James Brown, Deadmau5, Cookie Monsta, Skrillex....to name a few
Sunny: My dad was constantly chasing me away from his CD and vinyl collection. And literally everywhere like I go over to my grandma's house and go in the basement, my grandpa had all these swing records and I would just play the swing records and till I got kicked off of the, you know, the record player and then it go upstairs and play the piano in the living room. You know, so I cut my teeth on jazz, you know, the guy across the street from my grandparent's house was like a professional jazz musician his whole life. So he turned me on to like Charlie Parker, and Dizzy Gillespie and Django Reinhardt and Miles Davis and stuff, but, my dad was into rock and roll, He's, uh, a hippie, for lack of a better word, so he was blasting everything from the Eagles to Bachman Turner Overdrive to AC DC at full volume in his garage, and we always had a big stereo system in our house. And, so I grew up on 70s rock, and my uncle who's only a couple years older than me, he was really into hair metal in the 80s, when I was a little, little kid. And so I grew up on hair metal and early 90s kind of metal from him. And then, just the usual stuff, kind of in high school, whatever was popular at the time, and, rap hip hop, all that.
Laura: For me, I think, growing up, I listened to almost exclusively church music and oldies until I was in middle school. My parents were very, very restrictive in what we were allowed to consume as far as music and entertainment was concerned. So it was not a lot of popular anything until about the eighth grade. And the first three popular bands that I got into in middle school were Weezer and Green Day. And The Cranberries. And The Cranberries were, you know, a fairly large influence in my early my early music writing and processing. But so yeah, that was some of the first stuff but I mean, I again I grew up listening to Roy Orbison, and John Denver, and you know, my parents are generation are like, 10 years older than yours. So they were not quite as rock and roll as your parents were so. So yeah, it was a lot of that stuff, a lot of singer-songwriter kind of stuff, too, that I listened to quite a bit, and again, religious music, church music was a pretty heavy influence for me all through high school and early college years.
Who are your musical influences now?
Joey: I find it really difficult to narrow down influences to a select few now with all the new artists and music we are exposed to every day.
Ash: My musical influences now are all across the board. Everything from classical music to rock and EDM and country and pop. Whatever the moment might bring to me. When I'm playing my own music at home, or I'm out and about at a solo gig by myself playing guitar and doing solo singer-songwriter acoustic-based music, along with looping and singing, I'll oftentimes find myself playing pretty chords looping them, and then putting some drum beats on them and then soloing with my violin and singing. Usually, it kind of has more of a kind of funky hip-hop flavor over top of maybe like familiar songs. You might see me at a bar doing those kinds of things nowadays.
Sunny: I don't know it's like everything. I mean, I love spag-heavy, I love the stuff going on and in rhythm and dubstep, you know, where it's, it's sound design chasing sound design, and these, you know, who can outdo each other with like, the wildness of their bases, and it's just the vibe, you know, like, I also love like modern hip hop, you know, like, these grimy 808, and like, how their lyrics are kind of a flip on the style that the 90s and the 2000s were kind of going for this very rhythmic, you know, punch line driven music, like I think, you know, the dudes doing it now, they're just kind of like, doing it a really cool different way. You know, I mean, so. I mean, my, my modern influences are everybody. I mean, it's the Beatles, it's the White Album, I just recently listened to the White Album, through and through and through, and it inspired me, to really explore that, you know, it's minute by minute, day by day, like, I'm constantly listening to music. from the 40s from 70s, whatever, like, that's who inspires me.
Laura: Yeah, I actually find that strangely my musical influence, Well, I don't know about influences, but I mean, it's certainly what I'm listening to was a lot of older music. I listened to a ton of music from the 1940s. Like lounge, not lounge singer, but singers and standards. Yeah. You know, I listen to Frank Sinatra radio and 40s Junction on Sirius XM. And so it's a lot of crooners. And it's big band and swing. That's always tickled my ears. But as far as like, modern musical I don't know that that necessarily affects my...
Sunny: but you listen to top 40 radio, too.
Laura: Here and there, Yeah, I do. I mean, again, you look at my playlists, and they're kind of all over the place I have. You know, I have the Gypsy kings. And I have, you know, Green Day, and I have one here, and he talks about Green Day, but I have Dua Lipa. You know, I have very poppy stuff on my playlist, too, because I've been coming more intrigued in how to write catchy pop songs, you know because it's an interesting thing to be able to do, to write a really good hook to write an earworm kind of song that just one little line gets stuck in your head. And maybe it's the way that you sing something. And maybe it's the words that you say, or maybe it's just got a really good beat? I don't know. But, you know, I'm just really intrigued by the process of writing pop songs. And so I listened to, I guess, a lot of everything.
Sunny: I think all of us do. And we're a generation that, like, when we were coming of age, there was Napster, you know, it was like, literally every, we weren't just confined to a record store. You know, we, we had the internet, like, I had fuckin Napster in college, and, you know, was like, downloading everything anyone had ever made, you know? And so, I mean, I think today, I'm just a big sponge of music.
Laura: And I can find things to like, in a lot of different styles of music, and there's certain things that I go to quicker than others. But I would say, some modern and local artists that I enjoy Desa is somebody that I've always looked up to
Sunny: Doomtree and
Laura: yeah, Atmosphere.
Sunny: I mean, dude, Wookiefoot for sure. Like Mark, you know, his, you know, he's heavy on me. You know, I mean, all of our contemporaries, Joe Scarpino. Fucking, all of our friends like they, they influenced me like listening to all their stuff, and just being like, Oh, damn, dude, listen to what they did. Like, I gotta tell him Mark that today. Like, dude, I listen to your music and I'm just like, even though you and I are two ends of the spectrum on our sonic, like, there's things about his music, though, that I'm like, Oh, damn, dude, he, like, took this word, and did this play or whatever, you know, like, he set this mood or whatever. And I gotta, I gotta try to do that, you know, in my song, you know,
Laura: I think anybody that does something passionately, or that does something, well, I can find something to like about it. And you know, and so the genre of music is maybe less important. Although, there's certain genres that I can only take in small, small doses. I couldn't listen to them all the time. But I can certainly find things to appreciate about them, and even modern country songs that I'm kind of like, gag me, a little bit. I also see how catchy they are, how poppy they are, well-produced, I see how they tell a great story, you know, and to bring out an emotional response and somebody I see how they might appeal to a certain audience, right? Because you can write music for different reasons.
Sunny: I think too, just like, people, you know, we want to pigeonhole people and say, Oh, he listens to country music. He looks like this or he listens to rap. He looks like this. Like, the reality is the majority of people like all sorts of different types of music, you know. We've all been in that car with that person that plays like that same genre of music over and over again. It's like, dude, you listen to anything else like,
Laura: but some people that works for them.
Sunny: Sure, you know, I'm not hating on that either. But it's just like I think They're rare.
Laura: I'm more of a smorgasbord kinda person.
Sunny: They're a rare, unique person who loves a genre of music so much that that's all they listen to. That's a rare person. They're not bad. It's just like, it takes a special type of dedication and love for a certain genre to only listen to it. But me like I'll listen to anything...
Laura: all polka all the time.
Sunny: all polka all the time.
*Laughter*
What is the songwriting process like for the band, do the lyrics come first or the music?
Ash: The new album we wrote that over the past year on and off at rehearsals and shows, and then this whole pandemic happened, and we still made it happen. We would just remotely collaborate, and send me stuff and I would put myself into ProTools over top of tracks and send those to Sunny, and then they would get all mixed by Joey and Sunny and whoever else is involved.
Sunny: It used to be at the old house, you would sit in your writing room, and I'd sit in the hellhole. And I'd be in there just like fucking maaan you know, cranking on or whatever. And you would just be sitting in your room doing whatever. And through the hallway, we would write a song. But now in the new house, like, our thing is going to change, there's a wall between us now I have my studio setup, you know, in a place that you can't directly see me, you know, so...
Laura: I think, I think it's, our songwriting process has changed a little bit, it usually was, the music came first. And then I put words to whatever feelings I got from the song. But now I'm finding that more often, we're still sort of, usually, we're sort of writing separately, where you'll start writing, making a track. And then I have already started working on lyrics on my own. And then I'll be like, Ooh, this fits with this song. So it's more. It's more like finding puzzle pieces that fit together, and less like me custom creating a thing to fit into the song that you made. That's how we used to operate
Sunny: People are like always, you know, you're like, ah, fucking Phoenix. It's so it's such a great record. And I think like, Oh, God, it was like, you were so custom tailoring these lyrics to the songs that had already written. I'd come to you with these fully-fledged, like, yeah, songs or whatever. And same with the band where I feel like we don't do that anymore. I come up with an idea maybe or I don't know, it's, that's what I'm excited for next is like this new record.
Laura: So basically, how between Sonny and I, we come up with a general framework, and I write the lyrics. And then we usually send it over to Ash for his part, back in the day, it used to be we bring a new song to rehearsal and when we were getting together regular, before pre-COVID. And, you know, and Ash would kind of sort of work on it. But I feel like that also slowed the process down now, where I feel like we're like, okay, here's the sauce. And now you write your guitar or violin and send it back. And we're either like, cool, great idea. Maybe develop this part a little bit more, or be showier here or whatever. But it's a little different process. And I think it actually has been streamlined in a way and I like it better.
Sunny: I think everybody in the band does. I think it's just, you know, we all know where we fit, it's like you and I will come up with these crazy ideas. Then Ash like, puts his special sprinkle on it. And Joey comes in and puts all the polish and, and just makes it shine. It's definitely a well-oiled machine now. That's why I'm excited for this next record, it's really gonna be... I can't wait.
Ash: A lot of these songs they mean a lot to me, but I just truly love adding my own spice to them and adding melodic hooks. That's usually my place and then on stage, I'm just the weird guy jumping around with a fiddle. That's usually a heck of a lot of fun.
Joey: For me personally lyrics are the last thing on my mind. I like to create things by establishing a tone...lyrics come later in order to further express that tone.
Let's dive into the new album a little, Can you tell us a little about what was happening in the world when you wrote the song "N3xt"?
Laura: Well, this was a song that the musical side of it had been existing for a while, and I had tried on some lyrics that didn't quite fit.
Sunny: You came in the studio with them and I was like... Eeehhhhh...
Laura: I sang through a scratch version of what I had. And the song was originally called,
I think power.
Sunny: Oh yeah, Power is what it was originally called.
Laura: and, Sunny gave me a less than glowing, he was just sort of real lukewarm about what I had done and we actually kind of fought about it a little bit which has happened more than once, during the songwriting process because it's a very personal thing when you bring something that you think is good and you like and you bring it to someone else and they're like, eh, I don't really like it
Sunny: Who's also your partner and you trust so...
Laura: But it's hard because they feel a little bit like your little creations, your little sculptures, your little babies, and you're like, no. But, um, so what I will say is that, the original version of that song got scrapped, and I kind of went back to the drawing board. And then when I went back to the drawing board, it just felt like everything else was sort of coming to a head, you know, the pandemic had been going on for some time. And we were seeing the effects of that all around us. And then George Floyd was murdered, and the looting, after a couple of days moved into the neighborhood where we were living at the time. And in the middle of the night, we woke up because they had broken into and were looting the gas station that was across the street from our house, then, and it was a very surreal and extremely scary experience. We didn't know what to expect. It was very scary. And you know, and then there was the curfews, remember the curfews and we had the, you know, the National Guard got called in. And so it just felt like
Sunny: People's phones would go off. And like, yeah...
Laura: you get those alerts about curfew, and it just felt like the whole world was just on fire, it really did. And, it was through all of that lens, and that experience that I went back to the drawing board, and I re-did the lyrics, and it came out sort of... sometimes songs just come out a certain way, and you don't really intend for them to they just take on a life of their own. And it was one of those songs where after I kind of stepped back from it. I was like, wow, that kind of came out like a real scathing review of you know, American culture and the world that we live in. But that was how I felt I was frustrated. And I felt like, it's all falling apart it, it felt like...
Sunny: I remember we barricaded the doors. There were several nights where we took the furniture and barricaded the doors.
Laura: We just didn't know what to expect. And it felt like things were scary. And were kind of crumbling around us. And I just kept thinking like, if only we could see the future like, then then we would know what to do. And this was all part of the stuff that kind of caused us to end up making the decision to move to the country. That's kind of a separate, separate thing, but somewhat related, I guess. It was, there was a lot. There was a lot going on in the world.
It's nearing the end of January 2021, any thoughts or hopes for “What happens N3xt?"
Sunny: I believe in the power of positivity, which states that you know, at every moment in every juncture, you have the choice to choose to be positive about something or be negative about it, you know, in like, 2020 definitely had a lot of challenges and a lot of disappointing things that happened and the scary things, but I know so many people that that took this time to like better themselves and do self-reflection and I mean, I think you know, 2021 should be a celebration of that. I think, you know, I'm really hopeful for the vaccine to roll out enough that we can have festivals and shows again, and I think coming back, we can really preach the Word of 47, you know, as a band to everybody like, yo, that this stuff is important, and it's not never taken for granted. Know that, you know, every time you show up like this is very important sacred and, it can all be ripped away. And so you have to do the hard work, making sure it stays, it is how it is. And that's day-to-day work.
Laura: I don't know, I'm just hoping that we can see more unity in the future. And that means sometimes that we have to be willing to disagree with people and still treat each other, with compassion, and like family with understanding and that, you know, a difference of opinion doesn't have to mean that we're enemies. It doesn't have to mean that we are we stopped being friends. I'm hoping for more better communication and more unity, I guess maybe that sounds corny, but that's where I'm at.
Was the song "Four Things" inspired by real life? If you don't mind sharing, what was the storm you were going through when you received the wisdom of the chorus for "Four Things"?
Sunny: I've been doing the love, hustle, learn. So like, I do this three-finger salute kind of thing. If you look through pictures, you can see it. I've done it for many years, and I don't even know where love hustle learn came from, like somebody. I don't, I don't know, I just all of a sudden start like, I, some I feel I don't feel like I came up with it. But I could have. But I just remember like, you know, assigning it to those three fingers and the love hustle, learn and, and then when the song you came up with the song, and it was awesome. But you had a different chorus.
Laura: So yes, it was inspired by real-life, which was me struggling with this the storm of like, it's having the desire to be successful in the music industry. It's really complex. It's not straightforward. Like I want to go get an MBA, and they're like, great. So let's check your transcripts, let's get you enrolled in school, let's pay for tuition. And we're all just gonna start knocking those courses out. It's not like that it's so murky. And it's so all about timing. And it's all about marketing. And it's all about who you know, and it's all about, you know, but it's about the product that you put out. And as you know, it's just there's so many things that are involved in it. And I just, I was working at a job that I was pretty unhappy in and I felt like, Oh my god, working towards being a musician is such an incredible hill to climb. Like, how am I going to keep doing this? How can I possibly keep doing this? So that was the real-life thing that I was going through. And I think to some degree, I was also kind of, I felt maybe in a way like I was trying to be your voice, Sonny, you know, because you've been working at this longer than I have too. And I just felt like, Is there any way I'm going to be able to keep going? You know, wouldn't it be easier to quit?
Sunny: Yeah.
Laura: Wouldn't it be easier to quit, and just be like, I'm just going to be happy to be a regular person that has a regular job and lives a regular life. And so that's kind of the inspiration for the song. And the personal struggle that I was going through, like, do I really want to push hard to have an extraordinary life and to do extraordinary things and to create music and make music. And then I brought it to you and the original chorus was just keep climbing, keep climbing, keep climbing, keep climbing, keep climbing. That's all it was. And Sonny suggested that we add love, hustle, learn, and then keep climbing was the end. And you know, as is sort of the pattern that we've established is that when Sonny would criticize me I would get all hurt about it because That song was my baby. But I've gotten much better about hearing suggestions and whatnot. And yeah, and in the end, he, he convinced me to just try singing it for a while. And then I gradually kind of begrudgingly let it in. And then we realized that it was like four things.
Sunny: Just those four things,
Laura: four things, and you know, like, just these, these four things, it just these easy four things.
Sunny: I don't know about Easy, but it's not complicated, it's hard. It's hard work to love people. It's hard work to hustle every day. It's hard work, to learn, you know, to read books, and you know, it's easier to just watch TV or whatever. And, and it's easier to just give up instead of keep climbing to keep going regardless of like, every all the shit that's coming at you like, life is not complicated. It's just hard work.
For me, "Who Makes the Music" is one of the most relatable songs I have ever heard. Could you talk a little about how you found your voice and the courage to go out and actually be the one “Who makes the music”?
Laura: Um, well, Sonny, I think for you. It's like a compulsion. You can't not make music. I don't know...
Sunny: I was in a house today. And it's a vacant house that, you know, somebody wasn't living in or whatever had moved out. But they left the piano behind. And literally, the first thing I did when I walked in that room, when I saw the piano was I went over and opened it up and played it.
Laura: Of course.
Sunny: I am...
Laura: You can't keep your hands...
Sunny: I am driven to compulsion to like, make noise. But, there's the story of like, we can tell the story of how, you know, the previous band was formed, you know, I told JoJo that I had a band that had all original music and this crazy stage show and that I was worthy of headlining the harmonium stage at Shangri La. And he was like, oh okay, cool, show up. And I called you and I was like, Hey, I booked us a gig, we should probably put a band together and write an hour and a half worth of music, in a month and a half. And we did and that was our first show at Shang in 2017. And you were just kind of thrust into this.
Laura: Yeah, I mean, it is in our marriage vows that you were going to be the big dreamer with the ideas and I was going to work out the details, but I guess Little did I know at that time that that meant that I was going to end up being a lead singer of your band, because it just sort of gradually happened. I mean, it was like you agreed to do this. So I was trying to help you write music. So I was finding songs to inspire you right...
Sunny: That's right, Cause I was in a full panic spiral
Laura: Oh, he was in total panic spiral. Because so little time to get all this, music ready and we were trying to put on a stage show to anyway. And so I was helping him and through the process of like, finding music to inspire him for that show to put together the material. We started talking about, oh, maybe we should do a cover song. And then I was like, What about this one, and it was you can't always get what you want. And it was because Rusted Root had covered that, and I brought it home. And then we thought that would be a super fun way to end the set. And then there was another song that we ended up accidentally writing together because the violin player we had at the time didn't show up to do a jam session or whatever, a writing session.
Sunny: It was a writing session
Laura: So we ended up writing a song together, which ended up...
Sunny: Love in Damascus,
Laura: ...which ended up being like a duet kind of thing. And then and because then we somehow ended up doing a cover of that Galantis or our version of the Galantis runaway song. I just came in as a guest vocalist. But then again, Sonny, then was like, Oh, yeah, we're recording an album, blah, blah, blah and told a bunch of people that and so that was like, Okay, I guess we kind of record an album now. And so then I wrote lyrics because well, that's what we were doing. We were recording an album and then all of a sudden I was accidentally the lead singer of this band, and then I just kept doing it. I just kept writing lyrics and Sonny kept writing songs and I kept writing lyrics and yeah, And I think it more than anything that the courage to keep going is the hard part. Because I think anybody can go out and, you know, anybody with a small amount of musical talent can go out and write a song, you know, but to keep doing it day after day, week after week, month after month.
Sunny: Rejection after Rejection
Laura: Yep. And through all sorts of challenges and slumps and good days and bad days and...
Sunny: friends and foes. Yeah. It's when people say music is hard. Like, it's hard to explain, it seems not to explain it well enough, to be creative, to follow your dreams... It's, it's hard work.
Laura: It is.
Sunny: It's not complicated. It's just hard. It's hard fucking work.
What advice can you give to anyone who wishes to follow their dreams as a musician or an artist?
Sunny: I mean, I say this to anybody who comes to me and tells me that they have the dream, you know, I say, like, be cool. Like, try not to cause any waves, you know, be it be a friend, you know, because it's all about who you know, and you better be okay with being told no. Because you're gonna get told no way more than you get told. Yes. And I remember people telling me that in the beginning of me, like, Yeah, but like, I'm fucking special. Like, I'm talented, like, someone's gonna see me and be like, Oh, my God, like, Here you go, here's the keys to the kingdom, you know, like, that shit doesn't happen in real life. You know, like, I've known hundreds of musicians at this point. And all of them are like, extremely hard-working people, especially the ones that do it for a living, you know, and it's just the game. There used to be a time when you could just be young and hot, and, you know, get drunk and fall ass over teakettle into money, women, and fame. And it's just like, that's not the case anymore like this. This industry expects you to be a marketing genius and production wizard, and an influencer and a, you know, a merch person, you know, whatever, like, you're expected to be all this stuff. And it's hard work. And it takes a lot of learning and a lot of hustling.
Laura: So is your advice to love, hustle, learn and keep climbing?
Sunny: What were we joking about before? We were just like, reference the songs in the record, see song...
Laura: See song number three, or whatever?
Sunny: Song number 2, Four Things is song number 2.
Laura: But my advice, I think, is to do things because you like it. You know, I think creatives in general, tend to have success when they're doing things because they genuinely like what they do. If you're making jewelry, make jewelry that you like, you know, if you if you're a painter, make paintings that make you happy, you know, whatever that looks like to you. And I think when you are authentically happy, and you are being your true self, people gravitate towards that. And it's also not going to seem like as much work for you when you are genuinely doing things that are pleasing to you. And so that's been something that I have been working with and getting better at, is writing songs, and liking and being genuinely pleased. Like, it's a song that I would listen to on repeat, you know, you know, like, that's my, that's my goal. Honestly, that's like, my, my end goal is like, I want to write songs that I would put on fucking repeat. Yeah, you know, I want it to be that good to me. And then it doesn't really matter what other people think at the end of the day, but I think they'll gravitate towards that. So I guess that's my advice is to do. Do what you like, when you're being your authentic self. People will gravitate towards that and you know, it'll be awesome.
Joey: I don't like the phrase "follow your dreams". This implies that you can make excuses about not achieving them because they are dreams. Manifest and live in your reality. Spend less time dreaming and more time grinding and creating. This isn't a craft to be treated casually. There is a reason why it's objectively the best feeling in the world.
The first time I listened to the album front to back, the song "Heavy" seemed to be the one that tied it all together for me. It connected all the dots and summed it up perfectly. What do you do when the world seems too heavy?
Laura: Now, I go to the gym. Run. That's what I do. Or I spend some time doing some spell work.
Sunny: You gotta have your coping mechanisms and I've seen too many people myself included, cope with drugs and alcohol and Loose Women you know and
Laura: Loose women... *laughs* What is this the old west?
Sunny: I found a lot of comfort in loose women.
Laura: Sex, You can just say sex.
Sunny: Sure sex, But you know I mean those, those things there's a price to pay for all of those and, you know, I just got to a place that those things weren't... When the medicine is worse than the sickness. You know, you gotta, you got to change it up and like. Now I face my challenges head-on I allow myself to feel things. I play my drums...
Laura: music is therapy.
Sunny: Music is therapy. And like training for these races and it truly gives me such strength, you know, emotionally and physically.
Laura: I think we're both to the point where a good workout or a good run can do wonders, but I also find that music is also therapeutic for me
Sunny: hell yeah I write, write songs, see album 47.
Laura: We also take baths. That's our new things when the world is too much. We have a nice jacuzzi bathtub.
What inspired you to cover the Beatles song Help?
Ash: Yeah, the song H3lp, wasn't that cool? What a cool rendition of that. I've never heard anybody do that song that way. Hopefully, more people can hear it. All the feedback we've gotten on the EP has just been so amazing.
Laura: That song, that cover, or that choice to do that cover, was really born out of our own mental health struggles and Sunnys in particular. Sonny, unfortunately, has had his struggles with suicidal thoughts, And he's not alone in that. And I have struggled with depression as well. And I think there's a lot of people that are hurting right now, and we wanted to put that song out there as a way to connect with people, even when like we couldn't maybe necessarily connect with them in person.
Sunny: Yeah, it was rough, it was 2020. I mean the sky was fucking falling last summer, you know, social unrest and, a pandemic and uncertainty and when you struggle with a mental illness like depression, like I do, you know, there are stressors. You know there are triggers to it. Oftentimes like you feel so alone in that disease, you know, and it just, it really helped to put out that song to tell people and just be honest and like, It felt so freeing to just tell people like, hey, you know I suffer from suicidal ideation, I think about killing myself, sometimes. I can't, I can't stop it, I can try to manage it, you know, and it scares the hell out of me it's a demon, you know. It helped to say it out loud, I guess.
Over the last year the struggle with Mental Health has become a very real problem for many people, What would you say to anyone who is struggling with their mental health right now?
Laura: I think there's a lot of healing from just talking about things from bringing them out from the inside to bringing them to the surface to the exterior to making them publicly known there's a lot of healing that can happen when things are talked about when things are buried and stuff down underneath. And I understand that sometimes people are very private. But, depression, in particular, is one thing that when it is kept private and stuff down alone It kills people. It kills.
Sunny: It was happening all over and we lost a friend Megan Good we lost.
Laura: Oh God, we've lost so many...
Sunny: We've lost a ton of people and I don't want to list names here in this just because I would feel I would leave so many people out which is why I felt desperate need to like, tell people to sing this song,
Laura: I think what I would say to somebody who is would be listening to this interview or reading this interview or, you know, listening to our music I would say that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. And there are so many people, who are probably your next-door neighbor, or probably your bus driver, probably your teacher, or your whoever that also struggle with depression and also struggle with PTSD and trauma disorders and just, they, they have their own struggles and you are never. You're never alone. And there are hotlines that you can call that will get you connected with somebody, a counselor can talk to. (Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255) There are resources available. It's so so hard but making that phone call, is so important. And I guess I would also say, in turn, you know, to people maybe that are doing okay right now think of somebody that you think is maybe at risk or someone you haven't talked to in a while just call them, shoot them a text, Say hi, let them know you care because it can be so hard to take the first step when you yourself are suffering. So, it is not a responsibility that we need to place solely on the depressed person. The struggling person. We, as a whole, need to be aware of the people we love in our life, and, you know, checking in, checking in with friends
Sunny: Agreed
Laura: So they know they're not alone
Sunny: I always, you know, I like that. That song helped spark some conversations with people. Yeah, and they asked me and they were like, oh you know you can reach out to me and I'm like this is what I wanted to talk about. No, I can't. When I'm in the depths of the depression spirals, I can't even pick up the phone.
Laura: Right.
Sunny: And that's why I need you to reach out to me. I need you to be like yo How's it going, you never know that random message, could be the day that I'm like laying on the floor because I just wish I wasn't here anymore and like that can mean the world of difference so that was part of the reason I want to do that song is to start that conversation because I knew people would reach out and say hey you can always talk to me and then it gave me the opportunity to kind of educate them
Laura: well yeah and then also, it adds to the web and the network of people that are there, and, it hopefully will empower some other people who are struggling to tell other people. I'm struggling because then it creates that net around them, where they've got people that will check in because they know that they're struggling and if you're struggling in silence, you know, and not sharing it with anybody yeah then, that's a problem.
Ash: Of course, mental health, a huge deal. I think these aren't “Hoity-toity” lyrics, you know? All the songs, they might have a fun vibe to them musically, and you can dance and you can rock out and get down to them. But when you listen to the lyrics, for the most part, they're personal, and they're talking about personal things. Everything from mental health to daily struggles and work and wanting to go for your dreams and make those happen in the big tough world.
Joey: Breathe, stay present, and utilize your peers to bounce thoughts and emotions off of. Also, creating a "safe place" in your home for panic attacks is a great way to re-center yourself. For example, mine is the shower. No matter how bad it gets, I can always get my head back if there is a shower around haha
The whole reason I wanted to start this website was to help people to discover “Conscious Music” and to help people learn and grow. What does “Conscious Music” mean to you? Also, What does it mean to you to be a conscious person?
Ash: I feel like, you know, people hopefully aren't throwing those terms around loosely. You're aware and sensitive to issues in the world. Everything from racial disparity to poverty and mental health and you name it. Try to tackle those issues head-on in your music and affect change. I feel like that's something that this band can really do.
Sunny: Yeah, you know, I think. I think I'm really learning that a lot, you know, lately, you know there's just been some recent events in my personal life that like, I think it's owning up to things, I think it's the new way forward. I think it's the old paradigm of ignoring things and I think it's time for a change. And I think part of being a conscious person is just learning and loving and hustling... *Laughs*
Laura: See previous songs already written.
Sunny: That's such a hard question to answer. It's just something I think my life has been leading to. Just like trying to be conscious of everybody else here, and like, my intention is never to hurt anybody. I know I have hurt people, but it was never my intention. And, you know, to me that's kind of what conscious being conscious human is is is being able to say sorry I guess,
Laura: I think being a conscious person is striving to be better. and understanding that we are all flawed. If I can consistently push myself to be better and to develop myself and to grow.
Then I'm doing all right, but also understanding that I am not perfect, neither are you and neither is the dog, and neither is other people in our band and neither are our fans like nobody is perfect. We're all going to screw up. But being a conscious person. When you recognize that we're imperfect. That opens the door for improvement and growth. And I guess conscious music, to me, is recognizing. I think conscious music is knowing how powerful music can be and choosing wisely how you use that power
I'm aware some of the times when I'm writing music, that the words that I choose have the ability to impact somebody's life in a very huge way. And, does that mean that every song that I write is going to be ultra uplifting. No, because that's not how life is. And I think that's a very toxic positivity outlook, if you're having to be 100%, positive and happy all the time, that's fake, that's not real. I think and I think being aware of that understanding there are tough things and there are sad things and there are angry things. And there are joyful things and regretful things and that's what life is. But being able to present those circumstances in an empowering way or in an enlightening way... I am just trying to be aware of that, when I'm writing music that I wield a large, a very powerful thing with writing a song. And so I just need to be extra conscious of it.
How are you being an example for the world?
Joey: I'm not and would never claim to be. All each of us can do is compete with yesterday's self. If we can do that, we are improving and anyone who needs to can use it as an example. I think it's unwise to approach life with intent on being an example for others. Everyone fails at being who they are supposed to be. The true measure of a hero is their ability to be themselves.
Laura: I think for the first time in my life I am really, truly, getting to the point where I can say that I feel like I'm walking the walk. There was a long time when I knew what I should be doing, and I knew how I should be conducting myself... I feel like I'm finally just now at the precipice of walking the walk. I am, except for tonight probably not getting to sleep on time tonight but I'm getting sleep. I am eating good food, I am exercising, I am staying hydrated, I am laughing I am creating music and art. I am staying connected with friends, not shying away from some tough conversations sometimes. I really feel like I'm finally getting there, you know, and I'm finding my own spiritual path, and I'm finding a great amount of joy in that. I think I'm being an example because I am figuring out who I authentically am. Now, you know, and it's taken me almost 40 years to get there.
What are you personally working through or working on being better at?
Laura: I am personally working on being better at confrontation and conflict. I've been an extreme conflict avoider my whole life. And I'm trying to be better about that, about realizing that there can be a conflict and it's not the end of the world. And I'm trying to be better about not taking things so personally. That's one of my, I struggle with that a lot. I sometimes assume intent where there is none.
And so trying to not taking so personally and be so sensitive. I'm working on that.
Sunny: What am I working on, man. You know, like there was the last year was working on a lot of physical stuff, you know, getting my diet under control and just my body. I dunno, So much just being a better person like a constant thing.
Laura: I would say as your wife, I think you are getting better and working on being better at
your temper. You're so much so different than when I first met you, I think you're much quicker to cool down or to be able to, like, do something healthy to get some frustration out and you're much calmer.
Sunny: I agree with that.
Joey: Just my general pessimism towards life. Improving my internal dialog is the hardest thing I've ever done
What would you say the meaning of life is?
Joey: Perspective
Sunny: I don't know. I mean, I'll tell you when I'm done. That's all I can say, I don't think I'll figure it out until the last day. You know, which I hope is a very very long way off. You know, because every day I'm learning new stuff every day is just like life just keeps opening up bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger and my hope is that it never stops you know until the last day and it's whatever's next, it was gonna be a new challenge just like this life, whatever it is my energy is never created or destroyed, have always been here. I always will be. The energy, the molecules, that make me up, everything that is me, has always been here in this plane of existence. You know, so if my consciousness goes to a new plane of existence then, Figure it out there I guess, I figured it out here so...
Laura: Yeah, I don't know if I know what the meaning of life is just yet.
Sunny: Some people say 42, I say 47.
Laura: I dunno, I'm putting it together as I go I guess it's taken me almost 40 years I mean I'm 39 now, and I feel like I am just beginning to figure out who I am.
Sunny: It's weird to think like our generation is so like, this is stuff our parents did and like their 20s like...
Laura: I don't know, did they though? Because they just had kids, I feel like they just had kids and then they were just busy being parents and they didn't have time to ponder, who am I and am I being my authentic self and I feel like...
Sunny: It's possible like our generation has just put off kids, and everything so long like we're just allowed to have these...
Laura: deep philosophical questions instead of...
Sunny: I don't know, get the kids off to school. Make sure the roof doesn't collapse.
Laura: Yeah, I don't know. I think that for the human existence, You know the meaning of life is to find that thing that makes you joyful, find that thing that makes your heart sing, you know, and
Sunny: Why are you here? Like, What's your purpose like you know we're only here for a short time and he's gonna figure out why you're here. Make some good friends along the way, have some good times experience all there is. Life is a buffet. Pig out. You know like try everything. It's your one chance at the buffet, you better... you know...
Laura: Talk to me in 10 years maybe and I might have the beginning of an answer.
Sunny: Talk to me every 10 years.
Laura: Yeah, just check back, okay every decade. We'll have to check-in, and then collectively we'll have put it together, like over the course of the next 50 years.
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